just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
