Your mouth is God's brothel.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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