More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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