Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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