Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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