And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
