Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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