Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
