Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
