there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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