I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
