You really coming over, don't trick.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
