Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
