There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
They took my balls.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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