Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
