dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
