yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
