I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he shaved USA in his pubs
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
