I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
do herpes really smell.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
