i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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