ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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