Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
