I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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