He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
