last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
