walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
