She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
