i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
