EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
