You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize