Just cropdusted the office
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
