The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.