I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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