I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?