grandma shit on top of the toilet
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
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her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...