Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
