She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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