No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
