when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
