We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
