Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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