I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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