we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
