2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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