just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
