But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
