Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
