I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Randomize
