I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
