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doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
