i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
two words...techno handjob
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
