I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Every concussion has its silver lining
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
