Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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