I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize