u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
