Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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