Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
