you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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