I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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