I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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