i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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