Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize