"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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