He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
