We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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