mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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