This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
