Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
