my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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