Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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