i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
